Procrastination

I've been a bad blogger again. I don't have a real excuse, because I'm online every day. I just put off writing because I don't have anything witty to say.
The high holiday weekend is here, and tomorrow promises to be stressful and tiring, but hopefully uplifting, too. We have three services scheduled, and probably very few people will attend. I haven't got any idea how many youth will actually show up for the early service. Already one of the girls I counted on has backed out. My daughter is annoyed that she will have to help out with the service even though her buddies have gone out of town. Toooooooo bad. I wish I could combine the number of people attending each service so the number was larger when we actually report numbers. I haven't done the required reporting yet. I need to, before I get in trouble. I am just nervous about it.
At my interview with the Board of Ordained Ministry, they told me that it would be okay that my numbers were low, as long as I kept trying. Well, I am-- we have an ad in the paper, have passed out fliers, sent out letters to the potato drop people, and so far, the only guest we had was somebody who needed help. She left during the service last night (Good Friday) and came back when it was over.
One of my most supportive friends died Thursday night. Mrs. Adena McKemey passed away in the night after being ill for quite awhile. She was so sweet, and always smiled at me. Her husband was first appointed to my church when he was in seminary, so they loved the fact that Glenwood Park is my first church. They came to my wedding, graduation, and services a couple of times. She gave me a hand-painted plate with the church on it. I have to figure out what I can do in her memory.

I think maybe I have finally undertaken more responsibilities than I can manage. For the first time in five years, I forgot a YouthFriends event, and stood up my poor little fourth grade friend. I feel lousy about it, and my excuses feel weak, even though they're legitimate.
Last Friday, my genius fourteen-month-old nephew completely killed my cell phone. I was playing with him, and showed him a picture of himself on the phone; he was intrigued, and held the phone and toddled into the kitchen. I walked in the kitchen (less than five minutes having passed) and the phone was off; when I turned it on, it was set for April 1, 2004. And everything was gone-- no chequebook, no calendar, no task list, no contacts, no past calls, nothing. Period. Even all my pics of the adorable baby were gone.
Needless to say I was quite dismayed, and his mother was quite apologetic-- she wanted to pay for a new phone, but really, the stupid thing was on its last leg, anyway, because the day before the battery had failed to hold a charge. Still, it was frustrating.
So now, I have a new phone, but I didn't get it until Wednesday, the day of the YouthFriend bowling party, and so I didn't have the even on my schedule. I got some stuff done that morning, and thought-- hey, why don't I make that nursing home visit I need to make? So I did, and totally stood up my little friend.
To make things sort of right, I took him McDonalds yesterday, and apologized profusely; but still I feel bad.
Today my PTA president/friend called to make sure I was going to the luncheon we had agreed to do, and of course I don't have it on the new calendar. I'm slippin' and somehow I've got to catch up. And I've misplaced my worship calendar, haven't submitted my monthly stats, and can't find the video tape I borrowed. Nice start to March!

An Answer to Prayers?

I think I have been reading too much fiction lately. I'm letting my imagination run away. Recently I gave a big talk on the need for the church to more actively and intentionally invite people in-- remembering our commission to make disciples for Jesus Christ. The next morning, we had two visitors. It was almost spooky.
The first visitor was a man who walked in through the 23rd Street doors, well dressed, and walked up the aisle to sit in the second row. He never broke eye contact with me, participated in worship, and stuck out like a sore thumb in our all-white church. I was thrilled.
About ten or fifteen minutes later, one of our senior members walked in, and a teenage male trailed her. He was wearing a t-shirt and torn jeans, carrying a skateboard. Pretty much everyone in there assumed he was her grandson, I think.
After the worship service, I spoke with both visitors, learning that the first one needed some financial help and food to feed his family until his paycheck came. He had walked from 40 highway to 23rd street in the cold to get help. Of course we welcomed him, fed him, prayed with him, and made sure we could meet his needs as well as possible. He stayed for Sunday school and the second service, then somebody took him home, so he wouldn't have to walk. We haven't seen him again, so I hope he is doing well.
The second visitor had disturbingly blue eyes, and when I welcomed him, he said he had been skateboarding on church parking lots on Sundays, waiting for someone to invite him in. He said we were the first to ever do just that. Of course we welcomed him, fed him, (we feed people well-) and he got a personal teen escort to Sunday school and stayed for second service. He didn't fill out a visitor form, and the teen girl said he lived near her grandparents, members, but we've never seen him again.
I know logically that it's been snowy several Sundays, and that we should have insisted on him filling out a form-- but I can't help wondering (in my imagination, at the least) if he wasn't some kind of divine visitor. I know it's goofy, but he seemed to show up right after we talked about how we needed to welcome everyone, not just those who look or act or dress like us-- and he and the first man were definately not like us! It just felt like a test, sort of, and now I worry whether we passed it or not. I think I've been thinking too much. I do hope and pray we showed good hospitality and that these people will tell others about us and come back. And that we passed the divine test--

Numbers and Follow-Through

It's a good thing I take my running more seriously than my resolution to blog! I haven't written since January 17th, and then didn't post it. Pretty pathetic.
I have been busy , never the less. I'm trying to figure out how to energize and motivate the folks at church. They just can't seem to stay consistently fired up. I don't know why. They don't stay fired up over two weeks, at the longest. And I know they mean well.
It seems to me somehow we need to reach our church neighbors, by getting to know them, but how, I don't know. I'm chicken to go by myself to visit, and can't get anybody to go with me. What to do?
Some of the newer ministers are undertaking an online covenant group; I have joined it, and hopefully we'll somehow help each other. On the upside, at least when it's my turn to write, someone will actually read the blog!
Last week's service for Ash Wednesday only had 9 people. And it was a good service! I had changed the altar to a simple array of pillar candles and the cross, and dimmed the lights, hoping to do something different. The 9 there noticed... whoopee. Something has got to give! Or maybe I should be asking to be moved, I don't know.
I do wish I could increase my congregation attendance like I increase running mileage. Even at 10% per month, it would be great. We did have a new member join last week-- that's a bright spot! Maybe we can reach somebody else this week! I'd like to say I have new folks when I go before the BOM, and they ask why I lost 8 folks last year and attendance is down 10 from last year...

Here it is, seventeen days into the new year, and I've already blown one of my resolutions: I did resolve to blog at least once per week-- if not each day. Blew it. Not even with an excuse.

I'd say I've been busy, but it's only sort-of true. The truth is I just don't get motivated-- nobody reads this, so it's pretty easy to not write.

I went to my required RIM retreat this month, where we did more on family systems. It's the big deal. We keep focusing on it, because so many families are dysfunctional, I think. Maybe we need to talk to a psychologist, or psychiatrist. I don't know if that'll happen.

The next thing we did was Minister's School-- now that I have been put on the board of managers for this year, I paid more attention. It was good to see how Andy Bryan plays and sings. He's awesome! I wish we had somebody at my church who could play the piano like he does, or could write songs-- he takes Wesleyan hymns and puts them to new tunes. They're so much better.

New Year, Mizzou Rocks!

My dad said, "isn't it nice that Missouri gets the glory for a change?" It's a good day, a good start for the new year-- sunny, not too terribly cold, USA channel is running a "Monk" marathon, and Missouri kicked Arkansas' ass BIGTIME. Incredible. At last glance the score was 28 to 7, fourth quarter, with fourteen minutes to go. Didn't look like a miracle was gonna happen for Arkansas any time too soon, either. It's kind of fun to realize that Mizzou may again have a period of glory in football.
I think I'm raising Monk for a child! He's trying to change his ways, even ate a "taquito" last night-- with knowledge that it had chicken, cheese, and maybe even peppers. Amazing. He's convinced he's got to eat mixed food to get muscles. It's cute. If I'd known that was all it took to get him to eat... but he's still a slob.
Tomorrow I have to do something I never thought I'd do. One of my former babysitters, the oldest child of a parishioner, and the kid who has driven our church crazy and possibly slept with an unknown number of guys (because she did NOT want to be a virgin when she went in) is being sworn in to the Marines. And she asked me to come, so I guess the kids and I will, unless my mentor refuses to reschedule our appointment. I hope he does.
Luckily she never asked me what I think about enlisting. I didn't have to lie. I don't think I will take it well if one of my kids ever tries to join the military. I don't want one of my kids to be made a military automaton. I don't want my kids to go to war. I hate the idea of Allyson going to war. I hate to think about what could happen to her. I hate to think about the things you hear about women in boot camp, in the military-- she's a naive kid, even if promiscuous, and trusts people more than she ought-- I was convinced she would be a statistic before she was ever in the military-- a murder, or a rape, not a teen mom. I guess that it's a blessing she's going military instead, but I can't see her as a leatherneck. So, I guess that's why we'll have to see it to believe it.

A Weird End of Year

It's post-Christmas and I finally find time to write. Pitiful. I hope 2008 is a better year for regular habits. Christmas was good-- the kids liked everything they got, even though they didn't get everything they wanted. Nothing too dysfunctional happened at the Christmas Day brunch. Even dinner with my in-laws went well: I don't think I offended anybody for a change. Nice.
Abby got sick-- actually she got sick Saturday before Christmas, even asking to go home rather than continue shopping. She ran a fever but finally stopped on Tuesday. I took her to the doctor yesterday because she was now coughing, and they just said to give her the inhaler twice a day. An easy fix, for a change. Doesn't happen too often.
I've been hanging out mostly inside this week; no particular reason, just felt like it. Wednesday I met another minister who used to be here, then was in Eastern Kansas and now North Dakota conference. He told the story of how he was yanked around when he was trying to get his credentials back (had an affair, married the woman- surrendered the credentials) so he could move to N.D. Sounds like the games played are universal. I still say it makes no sense, when there's such a shortage of ministers. Why treat them like junk?
Which tempts me to rant again-- why does anybody care whether I am full time, when there aren't enough full time spots right now, and some people really need them? Seems like I'm an easy placement-- I don't have criteria, don't follow the career/salary track, but just want to be used as needed.
I've been slacking off a bit in my running lately. No real reason, but I am resolving to get at it intensely. I want to be running 25-30 miles per week by the end of January. Hopefully I can do this-- then it won't matter that my diet support people are gone. Can't believe that Pure Weight Loss is closing, and clients are not being transferred to LA Weight Loss. No explanations, either. I've got to figure out whether I can find my receipt and get the refund. Now what?
This is getting weirder and weirder.
All the news is covering is the assassination of Benazir Bhutto, who was killed we-don't-really-know-how, and kind of sitting in holding pattern, I think because they anticipate a move related to the new crisis in Pakistan soon. The Middle East is so screwed up it's unlikely to ever be peaceful. And the Presidential wannabes are getting annoying already. It's going to be a long eleven months til the election. Nobody seems to be too admirable lately.

Catching Up!

It's hard to believe I haven't written in four months. I just kind of got distracted. Since then, I've done two funerals of folks I never met (though I was told they were very nice.) I have also gone to Caruthersville to build a house, though I never got to do it, but instead cleaned out a trailor, and run two races, one for the Komen Foundation and the other for myself, doing the World-Wide Kick the Couch 5k. That's three races for the year so far, one to go to make my goal.
Since I last wrote, I have become the mother of a "tween," who is now a 6th-grader. She suddenly knows everything, and I have suddenly become the stupidest female alive. Her father is the dumbest/retardedest male alive. It's a wonder we can even get dressed, much less attend to her every whim. She has been grounded more in the last month than she has been in the last year.
My little boy continues to be "all boy," striving to be dirty most of every day, and now thinks he is part Pacific Islander, and has the right to wear shorts all year round, so he can run fastest and play kickball. I can't seem to convince him he is not Samoan or Tongan.
Soccer is thankfully over, so the kids can actually enjoy (hah!) family time more. I also caved in the last two months and let my daughter become a "cheerleader," to keep her active. She is afraid of gymnastics (I think she just won't practice) and so is "cheering" though the squad has no team to cheer for. At least it's something to yank when she gets in trouble: it seems to be the only thing she really is into right now, other than Radio Disney.
Turkey Day is coming, but we're avoiding the family get-together on my side after last year's debacle: my mom and my sister's mother-in-law got into it over the carving of the turkey (!!??!) and pretty much the day was shot. So, my better half and I are running a race that day, and going over to his parents' with knowledge that nobody will get p.o'd over anything there. (Even though we're the dumbest adults alive, we aren't crazy.)
Somehow during all this hubub I have to complete all the year-end paperwork too. Where has the year gone?

Of Bridezilla, Soccer and Such

Here I am and it's been almost two months since I've written. What is wrong with me? I think June was a blur; kids were busy adjusting to new freedom, and there were people to be visited in the hospital. All of a sudden it was time for the vacation. I couldn't believe it. I thought about writing while we were traveling, but didn't kept a written journal instead, which I am going to post on here. The one thing I do remember about June was counseling a couple before they marry-- the last session before the big day, which is this coming weekend. They were stressed about details, and I tried to get the bride to realize things were going to happen that were unforeseen. Her mom was there, echoing what I said, but I'm not sure she was hearing me. Hopefully on the big day she won't notice whatever goes wrong.
One thing I was stunned by was that she mentioned she had put her elderly cat down, because he pooped on her wedding invitations. Kind of harsh, I think. I have an elderly blind and deaf cat, and would never do something like that. We've already decided that when it's her time, we'll take the vet's advice. Glad this Bridezilla isn't in charge of any elderly relatives.
I was thinking about my son's soccer games too- he's gotten so much better while he played this summer on a league. I think he knows that there aren't any subs to count on, so he wants to be a good team member. We couldn't have taught this as effectively if we'd tried. And we're not complaining that most of the games have been in the evening, when you have to combat mosquitos, but not the sun and heat. I'll write another day on pre-hormonal (I think) tweens and their moodswings, as I have to go read Harry Potter #7 now.

Insanity

I have been so swamped lately it's a wonder I can even remember my name. The month of May went by like a whirlwind. Annual Conference was stressful; I am probably alone in this, but I HATE SPRINGFIELD. It's a one-horse town, redneck, too Assembly of God for me, and much ado about nothing. Did I mention I hate that place? Even if they have a Starbucks this year.
Conference was a waste of time for me, really. As a commissioned-not-yet-ordained minister, I couldn't vote on delegates for next year's General Conference, so most of the time was a waste, as I sat there. At least I had sudoku games. My lay person left early Sunday morning, missing the bulk of the major conference voting, where they addressed issues like: what defines a marriage? Should we agree to deny membership to people with sexual/gender orientation issues? And should we send a letter agreeing that the Bishops' letter about the Judicial Council decision? In the debates people were talking about "sinners," and lots of people were quite emotional. I thought it was pretty telling when a teenage stood up to say that if the church started denying membership to sinners nobody would be left. It all makes me think of the Martin Niemuller quote about not standing up when "they" came (Nazis in WWII) for Jews, and Christians, homosexuals, etc, and when they came for him there was nobody left to stand up for him. This stupid misguided disagreement on homosexuality issues is splitting the church needlessly.
I was tempted yesterday (in the sanctuary no less) to call my layperson on his dishonesty; he was bragging about how he was going to give a talk next week about the happenings at conference. I did tell him he left before the real meat of the conference occurred, and he was so surprised at being caught leaving he couldn't make a logical comeback. One of the only times that has happened.
I've been thinking too, about a young girl who was kidnapped last Saturday at Target and found dead yesterday. The entire metro is upset about this, and rightfully so. Even Nancy Grace covered this story on CNN last night, I'm told. But the whole issue puzzles me-- why this kid, could anything (other than her being accompanied by somebody to the store) have prevented this, why did the guy have to kill her, and why this evil even exists. Then I start to think about the guy they have on the store surveillance cameras and now have in custody. He has a wife and four-year-old son. What on earth makes somebody do something like this? How could he have lost his mind so to take another life and ruin those of his family too? It really makes you think about evil, and impulses, and the sanctity of life, which evidently some people disvalue. It's just a mystery.

May Madness and "May"hem

Our month began with my precious fifthgrader going to a middle-school orientation and it hasn't gotten easier or slowed down yet! What a whirlwind of a month and only a bit past half-way finished. Today is the day to honor graduates and one of the darlings may/may not graduate yet. What a mess. And my thoughts are "don't let that happen to my little girl!"
Since when are sixth graders treated like young adults? That's the spiel they gave at middle school. They treat them with "respect" (fine with me, everybody oughtta get that) and like "young adults." What? They aren't close. More than half haven't hit physical puberty, even if their vocabularies have. That could be the source (not just there but in the country) of why kids younger are acting so mature at earlier ages. Then of course they make adult decisions (sex, drugs, etc) and society wonders why... My little girl is going to stay exactly the age she is, even if she fights it kicking and screaming. It's hard enough to get her to shave her underarms :-).
It seems contradictory to have ceremonies for kids who won't graduate, or aren't for reasons they have caused. Is it rewarding them in spite of their unwillingness to do what they should? I wonder.
I've always thought life was like the "Let's Make a Deal" game, with each person being faced with several doors to choose and "surprises" behind each. Door One has a professional position and career, Two has a child without spouse, Three has spouse and child, Four has extended education, etc. Once you pick one, you have to go that way at least for a while. You can't change once the door has opened, at least until you have seen what each choice entails. Then I suppose you can modify your choice these days, which is the beauty of the modern/postmodern world. I hope my kids take door Four, though who can tell? College is becoming exclusive again, as the costs rise to rates that scholarships can't cover, and the middle class and lower classes struggle to afford even junior college... but that's another post for tomorrow!

Little Men with Even Smaller ....

There's a study just released that says women STILL make less than men in the same jobs. The results of the study show that when they're fresh out of college, women make 80 cents on the dollar compared to a man, and ten years later they make 69 cents compared to a man's dollar wage. That's pretty pitiful. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, though. Women are still discriminated against, and not respected-- and I don't think it's always race-related, though that happens too.
It's pretty telling that a top-ranking state official was let go after being sued for sexual discrimination-- the Missouri Dept. of Ag's Fred Ferrell was always a chauvinist, even when his kids were little. I remember him always being the "big man" when he was around-- and his wife seemed to cater to his demands. Now, I wonder if he's so big, since he was publicly embarrassed? His spin is probably that she was a "bitch" and made it up.
Gender discrimination happens everywhere, though, and I guess it shouldn't be surprising that women are still paid less for the same work. Recently I was made aware of a church in the Missouri Annual Conference which was getting a new pastor. This new pastor was a woman, to replace their previous male minister. They actually tried to lower the salary for this woman-- and would have gotten away with it, if the District Superintendent or Bishop hadn't insisted on pay equality. If I'm not mistaken, the staff-parish relations committee had as many women as men on it, so apparently even the women were okay with the unequal pay.
My niece is quite an athlete, as is her older brother. She's thirteen months younger than he is, but by far the fastest runner in her grade, and possibly his also. Last fall she wanted to play on his Queen City baseball team, which had several kids from the elementary school on it, and was coached by a friend of the kids' parents. The coach allowed her to play at the try-out game, and by all reports (from other parents, not hers) she did better than some of the boys. Yet the coach told her she couldn't be on the team, using her age as an excuse (she is 9, and the age range is 9-13), and then after she left dejected, he made several comments about her gender, which the boys on the team repeated. Her brother quit the team in protest, an act of which we are quite proud. This spring he wanted to play on the team again, trying to get past his anger over the slighting of his sister. The coach is seemingly punishing him, making him play outfielder, and also has made several comments about girls. This guy isn't just some ignorant joe off the streets-- he's a veterinarian, and one would think he would know better. His wife was a herpetologist for the Omaha Zoo before they married, and is quite educated-- yet she must put up with this.
I get so frustrated when I think about how this kind of behavior perpetuates more discrimination-- it just goes on and on. He'll raise his sons this way, and some of the kids he coaches will think that way, too. It makes me think of a poem by Nikki Giovanni that starts out, "He was a very small man."...

Tornadoes, American Idol, and Trailers

It's raining again, and my son is freaking out over the "flashflood warning", even though we live on high ground. I keep saying when we flood, Noah will be firing up the Evan Rood boat (spelling?). I love tornado season-- what would the weather channel do without tornadoes, then heat waves, then hurricanes, then snowstorms, then tornidoes... there's a pattern here. :-)
Why do Wednesdays seem like they take forever to get here? And it seems like as soon as they get here they're over and it's almost the weekend again. I never thought I'd not be so up over weekends, but lately they're soooo busy. I guess I shouldn't complain, since at least it's warm, and not 18 degrees like it was a few weeks again. It's too bad soccer doesn't last longer, but then we'd have back-to-back games, if Sam plays baseball too. (This is probably the time to count blessings...)
I'm embarrassed to say I let the kids vote for a contestant on "American Idol," after they quit fighting last night over who to choose. They were both sick with tummy rot, and I felt sorry for them. (Okay, not really-- it was raining, and I didn't feel like going for a run until it quit.) They think Simon Cowell has lost it, since he was so nice last night. I kept thinking I hope nobody else has to go through this-- but judging on how popular the show is, I guess lots of people do this. It seems television has taken over our house! I should be ashamed. (;->)
The weather channel says it is now law that weather radios must be installed in all mobile homes. Amazing. What does that say about our legislature? They must be out of touch, since they're assuming that people actually will listen to them. This warrants some thought, and lends itself to about fifty jokes, at least...

Psychos and Grumpy Old Men

I can't believe this weather. It's gorgeous outside right now, but the weather geeks say it will be cold again tomorrow. The trees look frozen, and some of the shrubs look like they've been poisoned, or something. I can't believe it was so cold on Easter either.
Easter went well, even if I was so nervous something would go wrong. The youth did finally get together and practice, and their teacher is taking credit for the success of the service even though he did NOTHING to help, except pick a Psalm. I guess it's my duty to simply smile and go on.
It was cold so the egg hunt happened quickly; Saturday was even colder, and the kids did a hunt and two soccer games. I broke out in hives, for my contribution to the activities. Good thing we had benadryl.
I guess I am being petty; I am really bothered by the way one of my leaders talks to me lately. He isn't civil, and seems to go out of his way to try to engage me in arguments or to humiliate me by talking to me like I'm some wayward child. I come so close to telling him to step back (out of my personal space) and to speak respectfully to me, or else. I don't know whether I ought to engage him or not. My mom says I ought to ignore the majority of it, but if I get a chance I should ask him if something is bothering him. My spouse says to just ignore it and take it.
To top everything off, the psycho stalker who tried to make trouble two years ago has decided she is out for me and my sister again. Just when I thought her meds had finally begun working...

"Good" Friday?

It seems like months since my last post. I have been so busy. At least nobody has died in the last two weeks, I guess. That's a good thing.:-)
Holy Week is such an important time in the life of the church, and yet, it seems like such a stressful time, too. I couldn't get the youth to do their part in planning the Sunrise service, though their teacher insisted they would do the service-- and my secretary is overworked this week, even if she's only part-time. Thankfully she's a patient and kind person.

Thanks to last weekend's rain, we have had two make-up soccer games, one in 30-degree weather. Then there is the fact that the weather changed again, and it's now cold as Hades. What happened to Spring? I hate cold weather, even though others like it. It's deceptive, because it looks like it's warm outside, but then you go out, and freeze. ANd my 7-year-old wants to wear shorts even though he'll freeze, because it's "fashionable." Quite annoying, really. The weather should be much warmer when it's nearly easter, and tulips are blooming. That's my opinion.

I have worship services tonight, as well as last night, and two on Sunday. Saturday will be crazy, as my Puppet Ministry group (including my 11-year-old) performs while I am supposed to be at a meeting two suburbs away. ANd somewhere in their are two soccer games. At least it's currently physically impossible to be two places at once.

I found a good book I am trying to read to be motivated for this weekend-- not that remembering Christ's sacrifice for humanity isn't motivation in itself-- called The Last Week, by Marcus Borg, and John Dominic Crossan. It's pretty historically accurate, and interestingly like the info I got in seminary. I'm still not sure today is "good" Friday, though, but my devotional booklet suggests it may be a shortened version of "God's Friday," like "goodbye," is a shortened version of "God be with ye." When you cross seminary education with my liberal arts undergraduate classes (Western Civ, Introduction to Old Testament, etc) the cross-referencing of info is remarkable. Guess I learned more, and more is true than I realized.

I feel for those people who are in the corporate world-- managing full-time employees and jockeying with bosses is a big headache. I can see where many people burn out or turn to other escapes, like alcohol, drugs, etc. I pray for those loved ones and friends who face such big stresses. I guess the alternative would be quitting, or getting really angry. Both are not productive, though. Perhaps that's why I left the corporate world-- I heard other new ministers talking about how the stress of the church is the same but altogether different, last time I was in the RIM retreat. I think it's interesting.

It's more important to realize others feel the same way you do-- with the same loves, same dislikes and likes, and know that you aren't alone. Even on the day we commemorate Christ's crucifixion, and know how very alone he must have felt. He knew he wasn't alone, and I guess that's a lesson we ought to all take to heart, too.

At Least I'm Not Alone---

Here I am, at the Residents in Ministry retreat on stewardship. It isn't bad; the speaker is quite successful at teaching stewardship at the church he has pastored for 27 years. Of course for me the question is why has he been there that long, when "itineracy" is the buzz word at our commissioning interviews. I know better than to mention it, however.
It's good to see the other people who are in the group. I notice one of the other four in my particular little group is starting to make comments about not being happy in his appointment. I hope he won't quit, since he seems to be a very spiritual person. He says he and his wife are both unhappy in their occupational settings. I encouraged him to see that as a sign he needs to change appointments. Exploring that option couldn't hurt, I don't think.
I learned also that one of the more outspoken members of the "residents" has quit; she became burned out, and has decided to go back to school and pursue her ph. d. She'll do well, as she's a good student. It's interesting, though, her senior pastor was the individual I had personality conflict with. Hmmmmm.
I'm glad to know again I'm not the only one.

Springlike Saturday

Today is just beautiful. Birds singing, warm, not too hot. It was supposed to rain all day. I even got planting done. But the weather scared me off from running a race this morning, and now I'm sad. I guess if we had run it it would have been pouring.
Another funeral to do-- this makes five or six since the middle of February. It always seems like we have multiples when we have a death. The last time we had this was two years ago. It's so hard on the congregation. And our Memorial chair isn't handling the influx of donations too well. We keep getting calls from people who want to know why their $5 cheques haven't cleared. It's hard not to respond sarcastically to that--
Any way you look at it, Spring is here, and at the same time, folks are dying. What an odd juxtaposition.
Tomorrow is the last Dead Sea Scrolls Bible study, meaning I have to find a new one to start. I think I'll suggest we start the Sunday after Easter, though that might mean having to remind folks. It will be interesting to see who actually goes to see the scrolls. I think maybe we'll do a study on one of the books of the Old Testament. Who knows.

Monday Skepticism-- Apparently the Lonely Road

I think sometimes I hate Mondays. I feel so overwhelmed... The house is dirty, the dog is, too. I don't feel like cleaning, I feel like sleeping. Somebody told me I had seasonal affect disorder (SAD, get it?) but I actually feel more tired as it gets warmer and I feel the pull to be outside gardening, while I should be inside cleaning, while I should be on the computer working, while I should be... and it goes on and on and on...
I am so sick of Bush justifying his actions and giving press conferences. His voice just has the ability to piss me off. I am constantly amazed that anybody can actually buy all his rhetoric. Or Karl Rove's rhetoric, or whoever the real spin doctor is. Four years of War today. Over three thousand U.S. soldiers killed. No idea how many "contractors" or Iraqi innocents killed, maimed, orphaned, etc. All in the name of "helping" that country. God help them if we didn't like them!
I went to the biggest spin presentation I have ever heard within the confines of church business yesterday, too. It scares me that people will listen to what a leader says (whether school official, politician, church leader, business leader, etc) and not question what they hear. Its like free will is completely thrown out the door. How can people accept things and not at least question the validity of what they are told? Am I the only one with a tendency to be skeptical? Sometimes I wonder. Is it a good idea to do away with Annual Conference support of social service/mission agencies which are begun and associated with a denomination? Is it good for the Missouri Conference of the Uniited Methodist Church to quit supporting Vital Ministries, like food pantries, homeless shelters, and childrens homes? Is the motivation to really allow these places to get more money, or is this a spin to justify cutting them off to save and redirect dollars? Am I the only one who wonders this?

Challenges and Stress

It seems it's going to be a crazy and long weekend. I ought to be enjoying it, but I'm not looking forward to it. I love St. Patrick's Day, with all the green, and Irish music, and food, and revelry. I don't love the ridiculous idiots that abound, especially when the day falls on a weekend. I bet the police have bets on the number of drunks they'll be bringing in. It could be a budget-booster for some areas.
My weekend got busy as soon as my friend's mother died. I knew before she told me, that the funeral would be Saturday. It's in a really rural area of Kansas, and that's when folks do things like that. I knew before she asked that I'd end up doing the funeral too, and that means travelling four hours, to the town and back. That's okay. But in the mean time, my kids have soccer, a Girl Scout outing, babysitting my nephew while his family attends a piano recital, and there's a church dinner.
As if that weren't waaaay too much.
So this afternoon, the phone rings and it's my daughter's friend, who is living in Janesville, WI. Only she's now at the Days Inn with her mother and two little brothers-- down for the weekend. And I'm sure there are expectations here-- as I asked her what was going on, her response was cut off, and I could hear whispering. Her mother is probably hoping to dump the kids on me while she goes out-- she did this from August 05 to St. Pat's 06, in between misusing babysitters, leaving the kids unattended, and expecting the little girl (age 10) to watch them. Last summer my family had the little girl for a month, and we paid for her to go to church camp. She wants to again, but I wonder if we won't be expected to also keep her brother. This just puts dread in my stomach, already. I hope this isn't the beginning of another year of worrying about these kids, and being able to do nothing.
I guess I should pray for guidance here, and ask for God to do or show me something to do. Turning my back won't help these children. Their grandparents have already done that, and it means bad things have happened with no system of checks and balances. So, I guess that's my prayer-- to find a way to help these kids, and to deal with the extra stress it puts on my family too. Amen.

Wednesday Frustrations

Today I finally got the cell phone I ordered last week. I am finally really back on line! Yeaaaa! I never realized how dependent I have become on cell phone technology and text messaging,until I couldn't do it. It was kind of like having a missing appendage. Weird, huh. And the company I finally bought it from was pretty nice-- but I didn't realize until I bought it that if you don't give feedback when you buy something, you get a "0" rating and some sellers won't sell to you. I could have gotten a cheaper phone if I had not had a "0" rating.
The other lesson I learned is that I don't EVER want to bid on the wrong item again. That has been the biggest pain. It appears that if you bid within the last 12 hours, or even close to that mark, then you can't retract your bid, no matter what. Doesn't even matter whether you can't reach the seller. So when I finally reached the seller the next day, after I had won an item I didn't want (a phone usable only for parts-- which was why it was soooo cheap) the seller said I could just pay $5 for his advertising costs and we'd be settled up.
Nooooo, it was not that easy.
I keep getting payment reminders from Ebay, and the seller has even sent me something saying the item was shipped (which it better not be.) The seller acts put out when I question why I keep getting these things. I will never buy from this particular seller/company (cellularliquidation) again, or recommend it very highly either.
On other fronts, my 7-year-old is "sick," which means he has improved each hour of the day that brings him closer to when school is dismissed and his buddies come home to play. It is pretty annoying. I guess I should have made him go to school even though he felt crummy this a.m. Once I gave him Mucinex, he's just fine. And hyper. And he keeps setting booby-traps all around the house, to catch intruders, which of course, we don't have. The dog is freaking out, and the cats have abandoned the house. When is this day over? I suppose it would be cruel to take some cold medicine that makes me sleep, or him, for that matter. Going crazy here...