Why do people put down doubters? Doubting has gotten a bad name. Poor Doubting Thomas, the one disciple (according to the gospel writers) who actually admitted that unless he saw Jesus himself, he would not believe in the resurrection. I think he's more like humanity than most people want to admit.
It's interesting to me that the writers don't note or emphasize that the others don't really believe until they see him, yet the scriptures do say that. Yet, poor Thomas is the one with that nickname for all time.
I think most of us would have a hard time believing someone we knew who had died had returned to life. We would probably suggest serious counseling for those friends who told us that they had seen him/her. We would wonder what they had been smoking or drinking. Yet, Thomas gets heat for voicing these thoughts.
On the flip side, Jesus doesn't entirely chide and chastise him for this unbelief, saying that those who believe without seeing are even more blessed. So, maybe since none of us can hope to have seen him immediately post-resurrection, we are those who are even more blessed. Not sure.
I wish people would realize that doubt is a normal part of faith. Not questioning anything leads to not growing. It's kind of a disabling, because it is through questioning that a person's faith grows stronger and deeper, as that person realizes the true wonders of God. I encourage everybody I know to have some moments of doubt.
Self-doubt isn't bad, either, as long as one doesn't get mired in it. It's good not to be so cocky that you believe you can't ever fail. Self-doubt and humility are closely related. The problem comes when self-doubt controls a person to the extend that he/she can't go any further. Then there is a problem. Until then, it is a helpful quirk.
Showing posts with label judging others. Show all posts
Showing posts with label judging others. Show all posts
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Friday, April 27, 2007
Little Men with Even Smaller ....
There's a study just released that says women STILL make less than men in the same jobs. The results of the study show that when they're fresh out of college, women make 80 cents on the dollar compared to a man, and ten years later they make 69 cents compared to a man's dollar wage. That's pretty pitiful. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, though. Women are still discriminated against, and not respected-- and I don't think it's always race-related, though that happens too.
It's pretty telling that a top-ranking state official was let go after being sued for sexual discrimination-- the Missouri Dept. of Ag's Fred Ferrell was always a chauvinist, even when his kids were little. I remember him always being the "big man" when he was around-- and his wife seemed to cater to his demands. Now, I wonder if he's so big, since he was publicly embarrassed? His spin is probably that she was a "bitch" and made it up.
Gender discrimination happens everywhere, though, and I guess it shouldn't be surprising that women are still paid less for the same work. Recently I was made aware of a church in the Missouri Annual Conference which was getting a new pastor. This new pastor was a woman, to replace their previous male minister. They actually tried to lower the salary for this woman-- and would have gotten away with it, if the District Superintendent or Bishop hadn't insisted on pay equality. If I'm not mistaken, the staff-parish relations committee had as many women as men on it, so apparently even the women were okay with the unequal pay.
My niece is quite an athlete, as is her older brother. She's thirteen months younger than he is, but by far the fastest runner in her grade, and possibly his also. Last fall she wanted to play on his Queen City baseball team, which had several kids from the elementary school on it, and was coached by a friend of the kids' parents. The coach allowed her to play at the try-out game, and by all reports (from other parents, not hers) she did better than some of the boys. Yet the coach told her she couldn't be on the team, using her age as an excuse (she is 9, and the age range is 9-13), and then after she left dejected, he made several comments about her gender, which the boys on the team repeated. Her brother quit the team in protest, an act of which we are quite proud. This spring he wanted to play on the team again, trying to get past his anger over the slighting of his sister. The coach is seemingly punishing him, making him play outfielder, and also has made several comments about girls. This guy isn't just some ignorant joe off the streets-- he's a veterinarian, and one would think he would know better. His wife was a herpetologist for the Omaha Zoo before they married, and is quite educated-- yet she must put up with this.
I get so frustrated when I think about how this kind of behavior perpetuates more discrimination-- it just goes on and on. He'll raise his sons this way, and some of the kids he coaches will think that way, too. It makes me think of a poem by Nikki Giovanni that starts out, "He was a very small man."...
It's pretty telling that a top-ranking state official was let go after being sued for sexual discrimination-- the Missouri Dept. of Ag's Fred Ferrell was always a chauvinist, even when his kids were little. I remember him always being the "big man" when he was around-- and his wife seemed to cater to his demands. Now, I wonder if he's so big, since he was publicly embarrassed? His spin is probably that she was a "bitch" and made it up.
Gender discrimination happens everywhere, though, and I guess it shouldn't be surprising that women are still paid less for the same work. Recently I was made aware of a church in the Missouri Annual Conference which was getting a new pastor. This new pastor was a woman, to replace their previous male minister. They actually tried to lower the salary for this woman-- and would have gotten away with it, if the District Superintendent or Bishop hadn't insisted on pay equality. If I'm not mistaken, the staff-parish relations committee had as many women as men on it, so apparently even the women were okay with the unequal pay.
My niece is quite an athlete, as is her older brother. She's thirteen months younger than he is, but by far the fastest runner in her grade, and possibly his also. Last fall she wanted to play on his Queen City baseball team, which had several kids from the elementary school on it, and was coached by a friend of the kids' parents. The coach allowed her to play at the try-out game, and by all reports (from other parents, not hers) she did better than some of the boys. Yet the coach told her she couldn't be on the team, using her age as an excuse (she is 9, and the age range is 9-13), and then after she left dejected, he made several comments about her gender, which the boys on the team repeated. Her brother quit the team in protest, an act of which we are quite proud. This spring he wanted to play on the team again, trying to get past his anger over the slighting of his sister. The coach is seemingly punishing him, making him play outfielder, and also has made several comments about girls. This guy isn't just some ignorant joe off the streets-- he's a veterinarian, and one would think he would know better. His wife was a herpetologist for the Omaha Zoo before they married, and is quite educated-- yet she must put up with this.
I get so frustrated when I think about how this kind of behavior perpetuates more discrimination-- it just goes on and on. He'll raise his sons this way, and some of the kids he coaches will think that way, too. It makes me think of a poem by Nikki Giovanni that starts out, "He was a very small man."...
Friday, March 16, 2007
Challenges and Stress
It seems it's going to be a crazy and long weekend. I ought to be enjoying it, but I'm not looking forward to it. I love St. Patrick's Day, with all the green, and Irish music, and food, and revelry. I don't love the ridiculous idiots that abound, especially when the day falls on a weekend. I bet the police have bets on the number of drunks they'll be bringing in. It could be a budget-booster for some areas.
My weekend got busy as soon as my friend's mother died. I knew before she told me, that the funeral would be Saturday. It's in a really rural area of Kansas, and that's when folks do things like that. I knew before she asked that I'd end up doing the funeral too, and that means travelling four hours, to the town and back. That's okay. But in the mean time, my kids have soccer, a Girl Scout outing, babysitting my nephew while his family attends a piano recital, and there's a church dinner.
As if that weren't waaaay too much.
So this afternoon, the phone rings and it's my daughter's friend, who is living in Janesville, WI. Only she's now at the Days Inn with her mother and two little brothers-- down for the weekend. And I'm sure there are expectations here-- as I asked her what was going on, her response was cut off, and I could hear whispering. Her mother is probably hoping to dump the kids on me while she goes out-- she did this from August 05 to St. Pat's 06, in between misusing babysitters, leaving the kids unattended, and expecting the little girl (age 10) to watch them. Last summer my family had the little girl for a month, and we paid for her to go to church camp. She wants to again, but I wonder if we won't be expected to also keep her brother. This just puts dread in my stomach, already. I hope this isn't the beginning of another year of worrying about these kids, and being able to do nothing.
I guess I should pray for guidance here, and ask for God to do or show me something to do. Turning my back won't help these children. Their grandparents have already done that, and it means bad things have happened with no system of checks and balances. So, I guess that's my prayer-- to find a way to help these kids, and to deal with the extra stress it puts on my family too. Amen.
My weekend got busy as soon as my friend's mother died. I knew before she told me, that the funeral would be Saturday. It's in a really rural area of Kansas, and that's when folks do things like that. I knew before she asked that I'd end up doing the funeral too, and that means travelling four hours, to the town and back. That's okay. But in the mean time, my kids have soccer, a Girl Scout outing, babysitting my nephew while his family attends a piano recital, and there's a church dinner.
As if that weren't waaaay too much.
So this afternoon, the phone rings and it's my daughter's friend, who is living in Janesville, WI. Only she's now at the Days Inn with her mother and two little brothers-- down for the weekend. And I'm sure there are expectations here-- as I asked her what was going on, her response was cut off, and I could hear whispering. Her mother is probably hoping to dump the kids on me while she goes out-- she did this from August 05 to St. Pat's 06, in between misusing babysitters, leaving the kids unattended, and expecting the little girl (age 10) to watch them. Last summer my family had the little girl for a month, and we paid for her to go to church camp. She wants to again, but I wonder if we won't be expected to also keep her brother. This just puts dread in my stomach, already. I hope this isn't the beginning of another year of worrying about these kids, and being able to do nothing.
I guess I should pray for guidance here, and ask for God to do or show me something to do. Turning my back won't help these children. Their grandparents have already done that, and it means bad things have happened with no system of checks and balances. So, I guess that's my prayer-- to find a way to help these kids, and to deal with the extra stress it puts on my family too. Amen.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Sitting in the Judgment Seat
Today is so warm, it's tempting to put on shorts. Some of the kids at the school are wearing them; this makes Sam think he's eligible for them-- he also thinks all moms are "mean." Oh, well. It's a gift I suppose. Someone at the school told me it is supposed to snow again tomorrow. I sure hope not.
A family at the school was in need of childcare for a kindegardner this week, so the mom could work two extra days and have enough money to put her kids in the after-school care program. When something broke at her work, she was told not to come in, so she won't have the money she needs to enroll them this week. I told her to ask the social worker for ideas-- then called the SW to say our church would pick up the cost-- (only $110) and they say at the school that I shouldn't help her, because we have before. I'm pretty confused about it. Some moms they seem to help indiscriminantly and others only sparingly. It makes me wonder why. Do they pick and choose? Is it right to judge whether someone else's crisis is legitimate?
I think it's a slippery slope to be on when one begins to judge whether another person's issues are major or not. Friends of our family have a child who has behavioral issues. Frankly, so do the parents. The child has been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, though I think the parents ought to be also. The parents are not all that well-adjusted socially-- at least one of them isn't, in particular-- and it comes as no surprise that this particular child also has social interaction problems. He has nearly been expelled numerous times since kindegarten, and is only in sixth grade. Of course, he is quite smart, having a "Gifted," diagnosis too, but you have to wonder whether most of the behavior problems are environmental or biological. I am aware of his parents' poor parenting on numerous occasions, and wonder whether his counselors and school officials are aware of these instances.
And of course all of this is on the slippery slope as I sit in a position where I can simply judge them and not be effected by their "crises" and just shake my head... there is probably a family systems chapter out there somewhere written all about them. Isn't that a judgmental statement?
A family at the school was in need of childcare for a kindegardner this week, so the mom could work two extra days and have enough money to put her kids in the after-school care program. When something broke at her work, she was told not to come in, so she won't have the money she needs to enroll them this week. I told her to ask the social worker for ideas-- then called the SW to say our church would pick up the cost-- (only $110) and they say at the school that I shouldn't help her, because we have before. I'm pretty confused about it. Some moms they seem to help indiscriminantly and others only sparingly. It makes me wonder why. Do they pick and choose? Is it right to judge whether someone else's crisis is legitimate?
I think it's a slippery slope to be on when one begins to judge whether another person's issues are major or not. Friends of our family have a child who has behavioral issues. Frankly, so do the parents. The child has been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, though I think the parents ought to be also. The parents are not all that well-adjusted socially-- at least one of them isn't, in particular-- and it comes as no surprise that this particular child also has social interaction problems. He has nearly been expelled numerous times since kindegarten, and is only in sixth grade. Of course, he is quite smart, having a "Gifted," diagnosis too, but you have to wonder whether most of the behavior problems are environmental or biological. I am aware of his parents' poor parenting on numerous occasions, and wonder whether his counselors and school officials are aware of these instances.
And of course all of this is on the slippery slope as I sit in a position where I can simply judge them and not be effected by their "crises" and just shake my head... there is probably a family systems chapter out there somewhere written all about them. Isn't that a judgmental statement?
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