What's Wrong with the Church Today?

That's the question everybody is asking, and nobody is answering definitively. What is wrong with the church? How come some churches have lots of people, and others have very few? How come the older members think they're being shut out, while the younger members think they're the ones being shut out? How can EVERYBODY be shut out? If they all are out, then who's in???

I wish there were better guidance on how to get people to come to church. It's tiresome to hear the same old complaints-- like how better music would draw people in, or like how the time of the service keeps people away. It's all bunk. I think the real reason people don't come is different for each person or family. None are really valid to keep people from worshiping God, but perhaps Bonhoeffer was right and the church has moved toward becoming a religionless church, so that less emphasis is put on corporate worship, and more on simply personal relationships with God. I don't know. Even that theory doesn't answer why some churches are growing.

Our church gets its share of visitors each year, but can't seem to retain the majority as regular attendees. Why? I'm not sure. Maybe it's too small. Maybe the people are too cliquy. Maybe I'm not what they need, or the people in the congregation aren't the right fit, or there aren't the programs that address their needs. Maybe it really is the music-- but if traditional music isn't one's thing, they can come to the praise service and enjoy MTV-like music.

Where are the kids attending? Many people think it's instant gratification that youth crave. They say it's videos, games, not really a desire to be in communion with God. I don't think that's true. I think perhaps most youth have too much on their plates-- work, sports, homework, family obligations, etc-- and squeezing in church becomes difficult for them. It shouldn't be that way, true, but it is. Maybe they get their religion from KLOVE. Maybe they get it from a podcast, or other internet outreach. Maybe they get it from television, though I doubt it. The point is they are not in most churches, just a few. Why?

Back to School!

I guess I need to remember to be careful what I wish for. Thanks to an over-zealous soccer opponent, Sam is out of all sports for the rest of the Summer an Fall. His finger is broken into the growth plate, has nerve damage, and for the last month, he has had a claw-liike bandage on the middle finger, which allows him to legally flip people off, which he enjoys immensely.
The first day of school was today, and each one went to just a half-day, giving them just enough time afterward to come home and fight. I think their classes will be okay, but they both think they're suffering, she with no girlfriends on her "team," an he with his buddies in the other class. Bummer. They might just both study more this way, and actually do better.
There is something about watching kids go to school the first day- it's just a marking of time, a ritual of some type, which always seems to indicate somehow that all is right in the world. I might not feel that way if I were in the classroom all the time, but it is fun to watch all the kids. Hopefully the new schools in the district will do well, and the kids in those schools will adapt and have successful years too. It's something to hope for.

Maybe Some Things Don't Change After All!

It's so nice that some things don't change much in this world. I live near a large park, and this week is Field Day week at the park, evidently. Monday there were three buses from Raytown School District and one from Independence there-- Tuesday there were kids from a private parochial school, and Fort Osage there, and today, there were at least two hundred kids from my neighborhood school there, all participating in Field Day.
I remember when I was a child, and Field Day was the day we all looked forward to-- it might have topped the day we had our Christmas Party or Halloween Party at school. It was always warm, and we always picnicked outside, getting to chase each other, and playing games to our hearts' content.
It's comforting that this still goes on, in an era where inflatable moonwalks aren't allowed by the local school district because of insurance issues, background checks have to be done on volunteers, and homemade treats are not allowed at classroom parties. These field days had teachers, kids, and adults who appeared to be grandparents or parents-- I even saw strollers on Tuesday and Wednesday. (As one can tell, I walk through that park nearly every day.)
I'm just finding reassurance in these events, as the world continues to experience global warming, devastating earthquakes, cyclones, mass shootings, and all other such evils.

How to Know When It's Over!

It turns out lots of people are quite excited about my dear friend who passed away. Her tribute in The Star was very nice-- and her funeral was not sad, but quite spiritual and hopeful. She had both the pastor and two district superintendents officiating, and retired Bishop Frank sent his best, being too old to attend. I think most people would do well to have so many people pay their respects!
The rest of the weekend was crazy. I spent Saturday with my girls in the GS troop, while they worked on badges at a workshop. Kate and I were bored, but talked all day, and even managed to sneak out to get a Starbucks. The rest of the troop leaders were not friendly, and that was okay too. At least we went. It wasn't bad, with only 5 little girls. We went to the soccer game afterwards, which was cold as hell-- and by then I was wiped out.
Sunday brought symphony tickets to the KC symphony-- to hear a Hayden piece, some modern piece of junk, and a medley of Wagner pieces. The guest musician was a highly-acclaimed soprano-- who should have worn one of the helmets with horns at least when she sang Wagner. Really German opera never has done much for me, but I guess I'm unusual. At least when she finished singing we new it was really over-- the fat lady had sung. I could definately have done without her singing, because the orchestra was as always excellent in and of itself.
I just found out two of my favorite clergy folk and classmates are moving to southwest Missouri. They're quite excited, but I'm bummed, they're guys I actually like and like their families; for the life of me I can't figure out why people want to move to the southwest part of Missouri. It's got nothing but fundamentalists, racists, and rednecks (which of course can be redundant, I realize.)

I think maybe I have finally undertaken more responsibilities than I can manage. For the first time in five years, I forgot a YouthFriends event, and stood up my poor little fourth grade friend. I feel lousy about it, and my excuses feel weak, even though they're legitimate.
Last Friday, my genius fourteen-month-old nephew completely killed my cell phone. I was playing with him, and showed him a picture of himself on the phone; he was intrigued, and held the phone and toddled into the kitchen. I walked in the kitchen (less than five minutes having passed) and the phone was off; when I turned it on, it was set for April 1, 2004. And everything was gone-- no chequebook, no calendar, no task list, no contacts, no past calls, nothing. Period. Even all my pics of the adorable baby were gone.
Needless to say I was quite dismayed, and his mother was quite apologetic-- she wanted to pay for a new phone, but really, the stupid thing was on its last leg, anyway, because the day before the battery had failed to hold a charge. Still, it was frustrating.
So now, I have a new phone, but I didn't get it until Wednesday, the day of the YouthFriend bowling party, and so I didn't have the even on my schedule. I got some stuff done that morning, and thought-- hey, why don't I make that nursing home visit I need to make? So I did, and totally stood up my little friend.
To make things sort of right, I took him McDonalds yesterday, and apologized profusely; but still I feel bad.
Today my PTA president/friend called to make sure I was going to the luncheon we had agreed to do, and of course I don't have it on the new calendar. I'm slippin' and somehow I've got to catch up. And I've misplaced my worship calendar, haven't submitted my monthly stats, and can't find the video tape I borrowed. Nice start to March!

New Year, Mizzou Rocks!

My dad said, "isn't it nice that Missouri gets the glory for a change?" It's a good day, a good start for the new year-- sunny, not too terribly cold, USA channel is running a "Monk" marathon, and Missouri kicked Arkansas' ass BIGTIME. Incredible. At last glance the score was 28 to 7, fourth quarter, with fourteen minutes to go. Didn't look like a miracle was gonna happen for Arkansas any time too soon, either. It's kind of fun to realize that Mizzou may again have a period of glory in football.
I think I'm raising Monk for a child! He's trying to change his ways, even ate a "taquito" last night-- with knowledge that it had chicken, cheese, and maybe even peppers. Amazing. He's convinced he's got to eat mixed food to get muscles. It's cute. If I'd known that was all it took to get him to eat... but he's still a slob.
Tomorrow I have to do something I never thought I'd do. One of my former babysitters, the oldest child of a parishioner, and the kid who has driven our church crazy and possibly slept with an unknown number of guys (because she did NOT want to be a virgin when she went in) is being sworn in to the Marines. And she asked me to come, so I guess the kids and I will, unless my mentor refuses to reschedule our appointment. I hope he does.
Luckily she never asked me what I think about enlisting. I didn't have to lie. I don't think I will take it well if one of my kids ever tries to join the military. I don't want one of my kids to be made a military automaton. I don't want my kids to go to war. I hate the idea of Allyson going to war. I hate to think about what could happen to her. I hate to think about the things you hear about women in boot camp, in the military-- she's a naive kid, even if promiscuous, and trusts people more than she ought-- I was convinced she would be a statistic before she was ever in the military-- a murder, or a rape, not a teen mom. I guess that it's a blessing she's going military instead, but I can't see her as a leatherneck. So, I guess that's why we'll have to see it to believe it.

Catching Up!

It's hard to believe I haven't written in four months. I just kind of got distracted. Since then, I've done two funerals of folks I never met (though I was told they were very nice.) I have also gone to Caruthersville to build a house, though I never got to do it, but instead cleaned out a trailor, and run two races, one for the Komen Foundation and the other for myself, doing the World-Wide Kick the Couch 5k. That's three races for the year so far, one to go to make my goal.
Since I last wrote, I have become the mother of a "tween," who is now a 6th-grader. She suddenly knows everything, and I have suddenly become the stupidest female alive. Her father is the dumbest/retardedest male alive. It's a wonder we can even get dressed, much less attend to her every whim. She has been grounded more in the last month than she has been in the last year.
My little boy continues to be "all boy," striving to be dirty most of every day, and now thinks he is part Pacific Islander, and has the right to wear shorts all year round, so he can run fastest and play kickball. I can't seem to convince him he is not Samoan or Tongan.
Soccer is thankfully over, so the kids can actually enjoy (hah!) family time more. I also caved in the last two months and let my daughter become a "cheerleader," to keep her active. She is afraid of gymnastics (I think she just won't practice) and so is "cheering" though the squad has no team to cheer for. At least it's something to yank when she gets in trouble: it seems to be the only thing she really is into right now, other than Radio Disney.
Turkey Day is coming, but we're avoiding the family get-together on my side after last year's debacle: my mom and my sister's mother-in-law got into it over the carving of the turkey (!!??!) and pretty much the day was shot. So, my better half and I are running a race that day, and going over to his parents' with knowledge that nobody will get p.o'd over anything there. (Even though we're the dumbest adults alive, we aren't crazy.)
Somehow during all this hubub I have to complete all the year-end paperwork too. Where has the year gone?

Of Bridezilla, Soccer and Such

Here I am and it's been almost two months since I've written. What is wrong with me? I think June was a blur; kids were busy adjusting to new freedom, and there were people to be visited in the hospital. All of a sudden it was time for the vacation. I couldn't believe it. I thought about writing while we were traveling, but didn't kept a written journal instead, which I am going to post on here. The one thing I do remember about June was counseling a couple before they marry-- the last session before the big day, which is this coming weekend. They were stressed about details, and I tried to get the bride to realize things were going to happen that were unforeseen. Her mom was there, echoing what I said, but I'm not sure she was hearing me. Hopefully on the big day she won't notice whatever goes wrong.
One thing I was stunned by was that she mentioned she had put her elderly cat down, because he pooped on her wedding invitations. Kind of harsh, I think. I have an elderly blind and deaf cat, and would never do something like that. We've already decided that when it's her time, we'll take the vet's advice. Glad this Bridezilla isn't in charge of any elderly relatives.
I was thinking about my son's soccer games too- he's gotten so much better while he played this summer on a league. I think he knows that there aren't any subs to count on, so he wants to be a good team member. We couldn't have taught this as effectively if we'd tried. And we're not complaining that most of the games have been in the evening, when you have to combat mosquitos, but not the sun and heat. I'll write another day on pre-hormonal (I think) tweens and their moodswings, as I have to go read Harry Potter #7 now.

May Madness and "May"hem

Our month began with my precious fifthgrader going to a middle-school orientation and it hasn't gotten easier or slowed down yet! What a whirlwind of a month and only a bit past half-way finished. Today is the day to honor graduates and one of the darlings may/may not graduate yet. What a mess. And my thoughts are "don't let that happen to my little girl!"
Since when are sixth graders treated like young adults? That's the spiel they gave at middle school. They treat them with "respect" (fine with me, everybody oughtta get that) and like "young adults." What? They aren't close. More than half haven't hit physical puberty, even if their vocabularies have. That could be the source (not just there but in the country) of why kids younger are acting so mature at earlier ages. Then of course they make adult decisions (sex, drugs, etc) and society wonders why... My little girl is going to stay exactly the age she is, even if she fights it kicking and screaming. It's hard enough to get her to shave her underarms :-).
It seems contradictory to have ceremonies for kids who won't graduate, or aren't for reasons they have caused. Is it rewarding them in spite of their unwillingness to do what they should? I wonder.
I've always thought life was like the "Let's Make a Deal" game, with each person being faced with several doors to choose and "surprises" behind each. Door One has a professional position and career, Two has a child without spouse, Three has spouse and child, Four has extended education, etc. Once you pick one, you have to go that way at least for a while. You can't change once the door has opened, at least until you have seen what each choice entails. Then I suppose you can modify your choice these days, which is the beauty of the modern/postmodern world. I hope my kids take door Four, though who can tell? College is becoming exclusive again, as the costs rise to rates that scholarships can't cover, and the middle class and lower classes struggle to afford even junior college... but that's another post for tomorrow!

Tornadoes, American Idol, and Trailers

It's raining again, and my son is freaking out over the "flashflood warning", even though we live on high ground. I keep saying when we flood, Noah will be firing up the Evan Rood boat (spelling?). I love tornado season-- what would the weather channel do without tornadoes, then heat waves, then hurricanes, then snowstorms, then tornidoes... there's a pattern here. :-)
Why do Wednesdays seem like they take forever to get here? And it seems like as soon as they get here they're over and it's almost the weekend again. I never thought I'd not be so up over weekends, but lately they're soooo busy. I guess I shouldn't complain, since at least it's warm, and not 18 degrees like it was a few weeks again. It's too bad soccer doesn't last longer, but then we'd have back-to-back games, if Sam plays baseball too. (This is probably the time to count blessings...)
I'm embarrassed to say I let the kids vote for a contestant on "American Idol," after they quit fighting last night over who to choose. They were both sick with tummy rot, and I felt sorry for them. (Okay, not really-- it was raining, and I didn't feel like going for a run until it quit.) They think Simon Cowell has lost it, since he was so nice last night. I kept thinking I hope nobody else has to go through this-- but judging on how popular the show is, I guess lots of people do this. It seems television has taken over our house! I should be ashamed. (;->)
The weather channel says it is now law that weather radios must be installed in all mobile homes. Amazing. What does that say about our legislature? They must be out of touch, since they're assuming that people actually will listen to them. This warrants some thought, and lends itself to about fifty jokes, at least...

Challenges and Stress

It seems it's going to be a crazy and long weekend. I ought to be enjoying it, but I'm not looking forward to it. I love St. Patrick's Day, with all the green, and Irish music, and food, and revelry. I don't love the ridiculous idiots that abound, especially when the day falls on a weekend. I bet the police have bets on the number of drunks they'll be bringing in. It could be a budget-booster for some areas.
My weekend got busy as soon as my friend's mother died. I knew before she told me, that the funeral would be Saturday. It's in a really rural area of Kansas, and that's when folks do things like that. I knew before she asked that I'd end up doing the funeral too, and that means travelling four hours, to the town and back. That's okay. But in the mean time, my kids have soccer, a Girl Scout outing, babysitting my nephew while his family attends a piano recital, and there's a church dinner.
As if that weren't waaaay too much.
So this afternoon, the phone rings and it's my daughter's friend, who is living in Janesville, WI. Only she's now at the Days Inn with her mother and two little brothers-- down for the weekend. And I'm sure there are expectations here-- as I asked her what was going on, her response was cut off, and I could hear whispering. Her mother is probably hoping to dump the kids on me while she goes out-- she did this from August 05 to St. Pat's 06, in between misusing babysitters, leaving the kids unattended, and expecting the little girl (age 10) to watch them. Last summer my family had the little girl for a month, and we paid for her to go to church camp. She wants to again, but I wonder if we won't be expected to also keep her brother. This just puts dread in my stomach, already. I hope this isn't the beginning of another year of worrying about these kids, and being able to do nothing.
I guess I should pray for guidance here, and ask for God to do or show me something to do. Turning my back won't help these children. Their grandparents have already done that, and it means bad things have happened with no system of checks and balances. So, I guess that's my prayer-- to find a way to help these kids, and to deal with the extra stress it puts on my family too. Amen.

Tuesday's musings

Today has been the longest day. I had my big annual interview with the Board of Ordained ministry, and had to spend half the day down in Sedalia for a thirty-minute meeting. I couldn't believe it when I had to sit next to the guy who was so awful last year. I just turned on Southern sweetness and bluffed my way through. I got the call tonight that I did indeed pass. I found out also that I may have to do two funerals on Thursday, plus go to a three-hour meeting and meet with my mentor. Nothing like have gobs of stuff all at once. Don't know why, but I just KNEW my stuff would all be the same day.
The warm weather here has made the days more bearable; I hate cold weather. You can actually hear the birds singing now that they don't have to huddle in nests. The only problem is mud. My 7-year-old has the knack of tracking in like nobody's business. It just finds him. He brought in ten clumps of mud tonight, which were all over the floor from one end of the house to the other. And he just looks at me like, "What?"
Yesterday I had another experience of realizing how smart he is. We went to the nursing home to visit one of the parishioners and she asked him to fix her gameboy game, which she said was in Japanese. Abby tried to fix it first, and declared it permanently "Un readable." Sam took the game and in thirty seconds, it was in English. Then he taught the adults watching how to change it, too. I guess it goes to show you that kids under ten can do anything with electronics.