A Weird End of Year

It's post-Christmas and I finally find time to write. Pitiful. I hope 2008 is a better year for regular habits. Christmas was good-- the kids liked everything they got, even though they didn't get everything they wanted. Nothing too dysfunctional happened at the Christmas Day brunch. Even dinner with my in-laws went well: I don't think I offended anybody for a change. Nice.
Abby got sick-- actually she got sick Saturday before Christmas, even asking to go home rather than continue shopping. She ran a fever but finally stopped on Tuesday. I took her to the doctor yesterday because she was now coughing, and they just said to give her the inhaler twice a day. An easy fix, for a change. Doesn't happen too often.
I've been hanging out mostly inside this week; no particular reason, just felt like it. Wednesday I met another minister who used to be here, then was in Eastern Kansas and now North Dakota conference. He told the story of how he was yanked around when he was trying to get his credentials back (had an affair, married the woman- surrendered the credentials) so he could move to N.D. Sounds like the games played are universal. I still say it makes no sense, when there's such a shortage of ministers. Why treat them like junk?
Which tempts me to rant again-- why does anybody care whether I am full time, when there aren't enough full time spots right now, and some people really need them? Seems like I'm an easy placement-- I don't have criteria, don't follow the career/salary track, but just want to be used as needed.
I've been slacking off a bit in my running lately. No real reason, but I am resolving to get at it intensely. I want to be running 25-30 miles per week by the end of January. Hopefully I can do this-- then it won't matter that my diet support people are gone. Can't believe that Pure Weight Loss is closing, and clients are not being transferred to LA Weight Loss. No explanations, either. I've got to figure out whether I can find my receipt and get the refund. Now what?
This is getting weirder and weirder.
All the news is covering is the assassination of Benazir Bhutto, who was killed we-don't-really-know-how, and kind of sitting in holding pattern, I think because they anticipate a move related to the new crisis in Pakistan soon. The Middle East is so screwed up it's unlikely to ever be peaceful. And the Presidential wannabes are getting annoying already. It's going to be a long eleven months til the election. Nobody seems to be too admirable lately.

Catching Up!

It's hard to believe I haven't written in four months. I just kind of got distracted. Since then, I've done two funerals of folks I never met (though I was told they were very nice.) I have also gone to Caruthersville to build a house, though I never got to do it, but instead cleaned out a trailor, and run two races, one for the Komen Foundation and the other for myself, doing the World-Wide Kick the Couch 5k. That's three races for the year so far, one to go to make my goal.
Since I last wrote, I have become the mother of a "tween," who is now a 6th-grader. She suddenly knows everything, and I have suddenly become the stupidest female alive. Her father is the dumbest/retardedest male alive. It's a wonder we can even get dressed, much less attend to her every whim. She has been grounded more in the last month than she has been in the last year.
My little boy continues to be "all boy," striving to be dirty most of every day, and now thinks he is part Pacific Islander, and has the right to wear shorts all year round, so he can run fastest and play kickball. I can't seem to convince him he is not Samoan or Tongan.
Soccer is thankfully over, so the kids can actually enjoy (hah!) family time more. I also caved in the last two months and let my daughter become a "cheerleader," to keep her active. She is afraid of gymnastics (I think she just won't practice) and so is "cheering" though the squad has no team to cheer for. At least it's something to yank when she gets in trouble: it seems to be the only thing she really is into right now, other than Radio Disney.
Turkey Day is coming, but we're avoiding the family get-together on my side after last year's debacle: my mom and my sister's mother-in-law got into it over the carving of the turkey (!!??!) and pretty much the day was shot. So, my better half and I are running a race that day, and going over to his parents' with knowledge that nobody will get p.o'd over anything there. (Even though we're the dumbest adults alive, we aren't crazy.)
Somehow during all this hubub I have to complete all the year-end paperwork too. Where has the year gone?

Of Bridezilla, Soccer and Such

Here I am and it's been almost two months since I've written. What is wrong with me? I think June was a blur; kids were busy adjusting to new freedom, and there were people to be visited in the hospital. All of a sudden it was time for the vacation. I couldn't believe it. I thought about writing while we were traveling, but didn't kept a written journal instead, which I am going to post on here. The one thing I do remember about June was counseling a couple before they marry-- the last session before the big day, which is this coming weekend. They were stressed about details, and I tried to get the bride to realize things were going to happen that were unforeseen. Her mom was there, echoing what I said, but I'm not sure she was hearing me. Hopefully on the big day she won't notice whatever goes wrong.
One thing I was stunned by was that she mentioned she had put her elderly cat down, because he pooped on her wedding invitations. Kind of harsh, I think. I have an elderly blind and deaf cat, and would never do something like that. We've already decided that when it's her time, we'll take the vet's advice. Glad this Bridezilla isn't in charge of any elderly relatives.
I was thinking about my son's soccer games too- he's gotten so much better while he played this summer on a league. I think he knows that there aren't any subs to count on, so he wants to be a good team member. We couldn't have taught this as effectively if we'd tried. And we're not complaining that most of the games have been in the evening, when you have to combat mosquitos, but not the sun and heat. I'll write another day on pre-hormonal (I think) tweens and their moodswings, as I have to go read Harry Potter #7 now.

Insanity

I have been so swamped lately it's a wonder I can even remember my name. The month of May went by like a whirlwind. Annual Conference was stressful; I am probably alone in this, but I HATE SPRINGFIELD. It's a one-horse town, redneck, too Assembly of God for me, and much ado about nothing. Did I mention I hate that place? Even if they have a Starbucks this year.
Conference was a waste of time for me, really. As a commissioned-not-yet-ordained minister, I couldn't vote on delegates for next year's General Conference, so most of the time was a waste, as I sat there. At least I had sudoku games. My lay person left early Sunday morning, missing the bulk of the major conference voting, where they addressed issues like: what defines a marriage? Should we agree to deny membership to people with sexual/gender orientation issues? And should we send a letter agreeing that the Bishops' letter about the Judicial Council decision? In the debates people were talking about "sinners," and lots of people were quite emotional. I thought it was pretty telling when a teenage stood up to say that if the church started denying membership to sinners nobody would be left. It all makes me think of the Martin Niemuller quote about not standing up when "they" came (Nazis in WWII) for Jews, and Christians, homosexuals, etc, and when they came for him there was nobody left to stand up for him. This stupid misguided disagreement on homosexuality issues is splitting the church needlessly.
I was tempted yesterday (in the sanctuary no less) to call my layperson on his dishonesty; he was bragging about how he was going to give a talk next week about the happenings at conference. I did tell him he left before the real meat of the conference occurred, and he was so surprised at being caught leaving he couldn't make a logical comeback. One of the only times that has happened.
I've been thinking too, about a young girl who was kidnapped last Saturday at Target and found dead yesterday. The entire metro is upset about this, and rightfully so. Even Nancy Grace covered this story on CNN last night, I'm told. But the whole issue puzzles me-- why this kid, could anything (other than her being accompanied by somebody to the store) have prevented this, why did the guy have to kill her, and why this evil even exists. Then I start to think about the guy they have on the store surveillance cameras and now have in custody. He has a wife and four-year-old son. What on earth makes somebody do something like this? How could he have lost his mind so to take another life and ruin those of his family too? It really makes you think about evil, and impulses, and the sanctity of life, which evidently some people disvalue. It's just a mystery.

May Madness and "May"hem

Our month began with my precious fifthgrader going to a middle-school orientation and it hasn't gotten easier or slowed down yet! What a whirlwind of a month and only a bit past half-way finished. Today is the day to honor graduates and one of the darlings may/may not graduate yet. What a mess. And my thoughts are "don't let that happen to my little girl!"
Since when are sixth graders treated like young adults? That's the spiel they gave at middle school. They treat them with "respect" (fine with me, everybody oughtta get that) and like "young adults." What? They aren't close. More than half haven't hit physical puberty, even if their vocabularies have. That could be the source (not just there but in the country) of why kids younger are acting so mature at earlier ages. Then of course they make adult decisions (sex, drugs, etc) and society wonders why... My little girl is going to stay exactly the age she is, even if she fights it kicking and screaming. It's hard enough to get her to shave her underarms :-).
It seems contradictory to have ceremonies for kids who won't graduate, or aren't for reasons they have caused. Is it rewarding them in spite of their unwillingness to do what they should? I wonder.
I've always thought life was like the "Let's Make a Deal" game, with each person being faced with several doors to choose and "surprises" behind each. Door One has a professional position and career, Two has a child without spouse, Three has spouse and child, Four has extended education, etc. Once you pick one, you have to go that way at least for a while. You can't change once the door has opened, at least until you have seen what each choice entails. Then I suppose you can modify your choice these days, which is the beauty of the modern/postmodern world. I hope my kids take door Four, though who can tell? College is becoming exclusive again, as the costs rise to rates that scholarships can't cover, and the middle class and lower classes struggle to afford even junior college... but that's another post for tomorrow!

Little Men with Even Smaller ....

There's a study just released that says women STILL make less than men in the same jobs. The results of the study show that when they're fresh out of college, women make 80 cents on the dollar compared to a man, and ten years later they make 69 cents compared to a man's dollar wage. That's pretty pitiful. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, though. Women are still discriminated against, and not respected-- and I don't think it's always race-related, though that happens too.
It's pretty telling that a top-ranking state official was let go after being sued for sexual discrimination-- the Missouri Dept. of Ag's Fred Ferrell was always a chauvinist, even when his kids were little. I remember him always being the "big man" when he was around-- and his wife seemed to cater to his demands. Now, I wonder if he's so big, since he was publicly embarrassed? His spin is probably that she was a "bitch" and made it up.
Gender discrimination happens everywhere, though, and I guess it shouldn't be surprising that women are still paid less for the same work. Recently I was made aware of a church in the Missouri Annual Conference which was getting a new pastor. This new pastor was a woman, to replace their previous male minister. They actually tried to lower the salary for this woman-- and would have gotten away with it, if the District Superintendent or Bishop hadn't insisted on pay equality. If I'm not mistaken, the staff-parish relations committee had as many women as men on it, so apparently even the women were okay with the unequal pay.
My niece is quite an athlete, as is her older brother. She's thirteen months younger than he is, but by far the fastest runner in her grade, and possibly his also. Last fall she wanted to play on his Queen City baseball team, which had several kids from the elementary school on it, and was coached by a friend of the kids' parents. The coach allowed her to play at the try-out game, and by all reports (from other parents, not hers) she did better than some of the boys. Yet the coach told her she couldn't be on the team, using her age as an excuse (she is 9, and the age range is 9-13), and then after she left dejected, he made several comments about her gender, which the boys on the team repeated. Her brother quit the team in protest, an act of which we are quite proud. This spring he wanted to play on the team again, trying to get past his anger over the slighting of his sister. The coach is seemingly punishing him, making him play outfielder, and also has made several comments about girls. This guy isn't just some ignorant joe off the streets-- he's a veterinarian, and one would think he would know better. His wife was a herpetologist for the Omaha Zoo before they married, and is quite educated-- yet she must put up with this.
I get so frustrated when I think about how this kind of behavior perpetuates more discrimination-- it just goes on and on. He'll raise his sons this way, and some of the kids he coaches will think that way, too. It makes me think of a poem by Nikki Giovanni that starts out, "He was a very small man."...

Tornadoes, American Idol, and Trailers

It's raining again, and my son is freaking out over the "flashflood warning", even though we live on high ground. I keep saying when we flood, Noah will be firing up the Evan Rood boat (spelling?). I love tornado season-- what would the weather channel do without tornadoes, then heat waves, then hurricanes, then snowstorms, then tornidoes... there's a pattern here. :-)
Why do Wednesdays seem like they take forever to get here? And it seems like as soon as they get here they're over and it's almost the weekend again. I never thought I'd not be so up over weekends, but lately they're soooo busy. I guess I shouldn't complain, since at least it's warm, and not 18 degrees like it was a few weeks again. It's too bad soccer doesn't last longer, but then we'd have back-to-back games, if Sam plays baseball too. (This is probably the time to count blessings...)
I'm embarrassed to say I let the kids vote for a contestant on "American Idol," after they quit fighting last night over who to choose. They were both sick with tummy rot, and I felt sorry for them. (Okay, not really-- it was raining, and I didn't feel like going for a run until it quit.) They think Simon Cowell has lost it, since he was so nice last night. I kept thinking I hope nobody else has to go through this-- but judging on how popular the show is, I guess lots of people do this. It seems television has taken over our house! I should be ashamed. (;->)
The weather channel says it is now law that weather radios must be installed in all mobile homes. Amazing. What does that say about our legislature? They must be out of touch, since they're assuming that people actually will listen to them. This warrants some thought, and lends itself to about fifty jokes, at least...

Psychos and Grumpy Old Men

I can't believe this weather. It's gorgeous outside right now, but the weather geeks say it will be cold again tomorrow. The trees look frozen, and some of the shrubs look like they've been poisoned, or something. I can't believe it was so cold on Easter either.
Easter went well, even if I was so nervous something would go wrong. The youth did finally get together and practice, and their teacher is taking credit for the success of the service even though he did NOTHING to help, except pick a Psalm. I guess it's my duty to simply smile and go on.
It was cold so the egg hunt happened quickly; Saturday was even colder, and the kids did a hunt and two soccer games. I broke out in hives, for my contribution to the activities. Good thing we had benadryl.
I guess I am being petty; I am really bothered by the way one of my leaders talks to me lately. He isn't civil, and seems to go out of his way to try to engage me in arguments or to humiliate me by talking to me like I'm some wayward child. I come so close to telling him to step back (out of my personal space) and to speak respectfully to me, or else. I don't know whether I ought to engage him or not. My mom says I ought to ignore the majority of it, but if I get a chance I should ask him if something is bothering him. My spouse says to just ignore it and take it.
To top everything off, the psycho stalker who tried to make trouble two years ago has decided she is out for me and my sister again. Just when I thought her meds had finally begun working...

"Good" Friday?

It seems like months since my last post. I have been so busy. At least nobody has died in the last two weeks, I guess. That's a good thing.:-)
Holy Week is such an important time in the life of the church, and yet, it seems like such a stressful time, too. I couldn't get the youth to do their part in planning the Sunrise service, though their teacher insisted they would do the service-- and my secretary is overworked this week, even if she's only part-time. Thankfully she's a patient and kind person.

Thanks to last weekend's rain, we have had two make-up soccer games, one in 30-degree weather. Then there is the fact that the weather changed again, and it's now cold as Hades. What happened to Spring? I hate cold weather, even though others like it. It's deceptive, because it looks like it's warm outside, but then you go out, and freeze. ANd my 7-year-old wants to wear shorts even though he'll freeze, because it's "fashionable." Quite annoying, really. The weather should be much warmer when it's nearly easter, and tulips are blooming. That's my opinion.

I have worship services tonight, as well as last night, and two on Sunday. Saturday will be crazy, as my Puppet Ministry group (including my 11-year-old) performs while I am supposed to be at a meeting two suburbs away. ANd somewhere in their are two soccer games. At least it's currently physically impossible to be two places at once.

I found a good book I am trying to read to be motivated for this weekend-- not that remembering Christ's sacrifice for humanity isn't motivation in itself-- called The Last Week, by Marcus Borg, and John Dominic Crossan. It's pretty historically accurate, and interestingly like the info I got in seminary. I'm still not sure today is "good" Friday, though, but my devotional booklet suggests it may be a shortened version of "God's Friday," like "goodbye," is a shortened version of "God be with ye." When you cross seminary education with my liberal arts undergraduate classes (Western Civ, Introduction to Old Testament, etc) the cross-referencing of info is remarkable. Guess I learned more, and more is true than I realized.

I feel for those people who are in the corporate world-- managing full-time employees and jockeying with bosses is a big headache. I can see where many people burn out or turn to other escapes, like alcohol, drugs, etc. I pray for those loved ones and friends who face such big stresses. I guess the alternative would be quitting, or getting really angry. Both are not productive, though. Perhaps that's why I left the corporate world-- I heard other new ministers talking about how the stress of the church is the same but altogether different, last time I was in the RIM retreat. I think it's interesting.

It's more important to realize others feel the same way you do-- with the same loves, same dislikes and likes, and know that you aren't alone. Even on the day we commemorate Christ's crucifixion, and know how very alone he must have felt. He knew he wasn't alone, and I guess that's a lesson we ought to all take to heart, too.

At Least I'm Not Alone---

Here I am, at the Residents in Ministry retreat on stewardship. It isn't bad; the speaker is quite successful at teaching stewardship at the church he has pastored for 27 years. Of course for me the question is why has he been there that long, when "itineracy" is the buzz word at our commissioning interviews. I know better than to mention it, however.
It's good to see the other people who are in the group. I notice one of the other four in my particular little group is starting to make comments about not being happy in his appointment. I hope he won't quit, since he seems to be a very spiritual person. He says he and his wife are both unhappy in their occupational settings. I encouraged him to see that as a sign he needs to change appointments. Exploring that option couldn't hurt, I don't think.
I learned also that one of the more outspoken members of the "residents" has quit; she became burned out, and has decided to go back to school and pursue her ph. d. She'll do well, as she's a good student. It's interesting, though, her senior pastor was the individual I had personality conflict with. Hmmmmm.
I'm glad to know again I'm not the only one.

Springlike Saturday

Today is just beautiful. Birds singing, warm, not too hot. It was supposed to rain all day. I even got planting done. But the weather scared me off from running a race this morning, and now I'm sad. I guess if we had run it it would have been pouring.
Another funeral to do-- this makes five or six since the middle of February. It always seems like we have multiples when we have a death. The last time we had this was two years ago. It's so hard on the congregation. And our Memorial chair isn't handling the influx of donations too well. We keep getting calls from people who want to know why their $5 cheques haven't cleared. It's hard not to respond sarcastically to that--
Any way you look at it, Spring is here, and at the same time, folks are dying. What an odd juxtaposition.
Tomorrow is the last Dead Sea Scrolls Bible study, meaning I have to find a new one to start. I think I'll suggest we start the Sunday after Easter, though that might mean having to remind folks. It will be interesting to see who actually goes to see the scrolls. I think maybe we'll do a study on one of the books of the Old Testament. Who knows.

Monday Skepticism-- Apparently the Lonely Road

I think sometimes I hate Mondays. I feel so overwhelmed... The house is dirty, the dog is, too. I don't feel like cleaning, I feel like sleeping. Somebody told me I had seasonal affect disorder (SAD, get it?) but I actually feel more tired as it gets warmer and I feel the pull to be outside gardening, while I should be inside cleaning, while I should be on the computer working, while I should be... and it goes on and on and on...
I am so sick of Bush justifying his actions and giving press conferences. His voice just has the ability to piss me off. I am constantly amazed that anybody can actually buy all his rhetoric. Or Karl Rove's rhetoric, or whoever the real spin doctor is. Four years of War today. Over three thousand U.S. soldiers killed. No idea how many "contractors" or Iraqi innocents killed, maimed, orphaned, etc. All in the name of "helping" that country. God help them if we didn't like them!
I went to the biggest spin presentation I have ever heard within the confines of church business yesterday, too. It scares me that people will listen to what a leader says (whether school official, politician, church leader, business leader, etc) and not question what they hear. Its like free will is completely thrown out the door. How can people accept things and not at least question the validity of what they are told? Am I the only one with a tendency to be skeptical? Sometimes I wonder. Is it a good idea to do away with Annual Conference support of social service/mission agencies which are begun and associated with a denomination? Is it good for the Missouri Conference of the Uniited Methodist Church to quit supporting Vital Ministries, like food pantries, homeless shelters, and childrens homes? Is the motivation to really allow these places to get more money, or is this a spin to justify cutting them off to save and redirect dollars? Am I the only one who wonders this?

Challenges and Stress

It seems it's going to be a crazy and long weekend. I ought to be enjoying it, but I'm not looking forward to it. I love St. Patrick's Day, with all the green, and Irish music, and food, and revelry. I don't love the ridiculous idiots that abound, especially when the day falls on a weekend. I bet the police have bets on the number of drunks they'll be bringing in. It could be a budget-booster for some areas.
My weekend got busy as soon as my friend's mother died. I knew before she told me, that the funeral would be Saturday. It's in a really rural area of Kansas, and that's when folks do things like that. I knew before she asked that I'd end up doing the funeral too, and that means travelling four hours, to the town and back. That's okay. But in the mean time, my kids have soccer, a Girl Scout outing, babysitting my nephew while his family attends a piano recital, and there's a church dinner.
As if that weren't waaaay too much.
So this afternoon, the phone rings and it's my daughter's friend, who is living in Janesville, WI. Only she's now at the Days Inn with her mother and two little brothers-- down for the weekend. And I'm sure there are expectations here-- as I asked her what was going on, her response was cut off, and I could hear whispering. Her mother is probably hoping to dump the kids on me while she goes out-- she did this from August 05 to St. Pat's 06, in between misusing babysitters, leaving the kids unattended, and expecting the little girl (age 10) to watch them. Last summer my family had the little girl for a month, and we paid for her to go to church camp. She wants to again, but I wonder if we won't be expected to also keep her brother. This just puts dread in my stomach, already. I hope this isn't the beginning of another year of worrying about these kids, and being able to do nothing.
I guess I should pray for guidance here, and ask for God to do or show me something to do. Turning my back won't help these children. Their grandparents have already done that, and it means bad things have happened with no system of checks and balances. So, I guess that's my prayer-- to find a way to help these kids, and to deal with the extra stress it puts on my family too. Amen.

Wednesday Frustrations

Today I finally got the cell phone I ordered last week. I am finally really back on line! Yeaaaa! I never realized how dependent I have become on cell phone technology and text messaging,until I couldn't do it. It was kind of like having a missing appendage. Weird, huh. And the company I finally bought it from was pretty nice-- but I didn't realize until I bought it that if you don't give feedback when you buy something, you get a "0" rating and some sellers won't sell to you. I could have gotten a cheaper phone if I had not had a "0" rating.
The other lesson I learned is that I don't EVER want to bid on the wrong item again. That has been the biggest pain. It appears that if you bid within the last 12 hours, or even close to that mark, then you can't retract your bid, no matter what. Doesn't even matter whether you can't reach the seller. So when I finally reached the seller the next day, after I had won an item I didn't want (a phone usable only for parts-- which was why it was soooo cheap) the seller said I could just pay $5 for his advertising costs and we'd be settled up.
Nooooo, it was not that easy.
I keep getting payment reminders from Ebay, and the seller has even sent me something saying the item was shipped (which it better not be.) The seller acts put out when I question why I keep getting these things. I will never buy from this particular seller/company (cellularliquidation) again, or recommend it very highly either.
On other fronts, my 7-year-old is "sick," which means he has improved each hour of the day that brings him closer to when school is dismissed and his buddies come home to play. It is pretty annoying. I guess I should have made him go to school even though he felt crummy this a.m. Once I gave him Mucinex, he's just fine. And hyper. And he keeps setting booby-traps all around the house, to catch intruders, which of course, we don't have. The dog is freaking out, and the cats have abandoned the house. When is this day over? I suppose it would be cruel to take some cold medicine that makes me sleep, or him, for that matter. Going crazy here...

Sitting in the Judgment Seat

Today is so warm, it's tempting to put on shorts. Some of the kids at the school are wearing them; this makes Sam think he's eligible for them-- he also thinks all moms are "mean." Oh, well. It's a gift I suppose. Someone at the school told me it is supposed to snow again tomorrow. I sure hope not.

A family at the school was in need of childcare for a kindegardner this week, so the mom could work two extra days and have enough money to put her kids in the after-school care program. When something broke at her work, she was told not to come in, so she won't have the money she needs to enroll them this week. I told her to ask the social worker for ideas-- then called the SW to say our church would pick up the cost-- (only $110) and they say at the school that I shouldn't help her, because we have before. I'm pretty confused about it. Some moms they seem to help indiscriminantly and others only sparingly. It makes me wonder why. Do they pick and choose? Is it right to judge whether someone else's crisis is legitimate?

I think it's a slippery slope to be on when one begins to judge whether another person's issues are major or not. Friends of our family have a child who has behavioral issues. Frankly, so do the parents. The child has been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, though I think the parents ought to be also. The parents are not all that well-adjusted socially-- at least one of them isn't, in particular-- and it comes as no surprise that this particular child also has social interaction problems. He has nearly been expelled numerous times since kindegarten, and is only in sixth grade. Of course, he is quite smart, having a "Gifted," diagnosis too, but you have to wonder whether most of the behavior problems are environmental or biological. I am aware of his parents' poor parenting on numerous occasions, and wonder whether his counselors and school officials are aware of these instances.

And of course all of this is on the slippery slope as I sit in a position where I can simply judge them and not be effected by their "crises" and just shake my head... there is probably a family systems chapter out there somewhere written all about them. Isn't that a judgmental statement?

Saturday Night

Here it is Saturday night, and I'm rethinking tomorrow's sermon. We have had another death-- this makes the fourth this month. Three this week. In stead of talking about the serious nature of Lent and the need for repentance, I'm feeling like doing a pep rally-style talk on how good God is; people are really freaking out about all the death. We seem to go through phases where several people die quite closely in time to each other. It's really not a supernatural thing, though, but a fact of the age of the congregation-- but most people aren't really realizing that. In stead they're saying things like, "Oh, no. Now there will be two more..." because they think deaths come in threes.

Isn't that weird? I really never thought about it that way-- once I saw a Clint Eastwood movie where a character said that celebrities die in 3's, and I have always remembered that line. But I never really thought about people in general that way. Kate says that a scientist told her it's just human nature to think that things happen for a reason, and that that's why people say the thing about 3's. Maybe. She compared it to the superstition around certain numbers-- like 13, or 7-- but still, you wonder. One of my former professors, Kris Kvam, said it would be interesting to do a study on the correlation-- whether congregations do indeed have members die in 3's. I told Kate this, to which she responded that people die around holidays because holidays are at the hottest and coldest times of the year. Trust the Vulcan to reason it all out.

I think I'm going to look at this superstition-fixation thing and try to preach on people trusting God, and not leaving things to "fate," or whatever they think is the mastermind behind such weird occurrences. Perhaps assuming God's bigger plan is more important will help them not search for other explanations.

Glad I'm not the only one!

I am so glad today is the day after yesterday.

I have dreaded yesterday for nearly a year, after last year's Board of Ordained Ministry interviews were so stressful. Last year I did fine in three of the four interviews, but the fourth one (actually the first one) was horrible-- the chair of the committee was -- to put it lightly-- verbally confrontive. He told me there was no God in my sacraments, and my service was dead. He said a pause of more than 2 seconds was indicative of a dead worship service, and when he was done berating and insulting me, asked if I had any questions; I couldn't verbalize what I was thinking in such esteemed company. That night I was called after 10:30 and asked to come back the next morning (meaning I had to find childcare for my kids until they went to school) and finally I agreed to return. I stayed up all night studying, and when I got there, the man asked if my worship leadership style was particular to that church, and when I said "yes," he said that everything was okay and that was that. How much stress for something so inconsequential!

Not only did I have to face that man yesterday, but I had to sit by him. However, this time, my mentor was in the room, and the chair was the minister of my hometown church, which for me was quite comforting. I just pretended the offender in question was a business person I had to have dealings with, and we got along quite famously. And last night at 9:30 I got the call that I had passed. Whewwww! Now I have to anticipate next year's interview, which is when they will ask if I have created the Sunday night program I told them I was contemplating. Some day I will learn to shut my mouth...

Tuesday's musings

Today has been the longest day. I had my big annual interview with the Board of Ordained ministry, and had to spend half the day down in Sedalia for a thirty-minute meeting. I couldn't believe it when I had to sit next to the guy who was so awful last year. I just turned on Southern sweetness and bluffed my way through. I got the call tonight that I did indeed pass. I found out also that I may have to do two funerals on Thursday, plus go to a three-hour meeting and meet with my mentor. Nothing like have gobs of stuff all at once. Don't know why, but I just KNEW my stuff would all be the same day.
The warm weather here has made the days more bearable; I hate cold weather. You can actually hear the birds singing now that they don't have to huddle in nests. The only problem is mud. My 7-year-old has the knack of tracking in like nobody's business. It just finds him. He brought in ten clumps of mud tonight, which were all over the floor from one end of the house to the other. And he just looks at me like, "What?"
Yesterday I had another experience of realizing how smart he is. We went to the nursing home to visit one of the parishioners and she asked him to fix her gameboy game, which she said was in Japanese. Abby tried to fix it first, and declared it permanently "Un readable." Sam took the game and in thirty seconds, it was in English. Then he taught the adults watching how to change it, too. I guess it goes to show you that kids under ten can do anything with electronics.

As this week starts, I am thinking about a eulogy for a church member. Two years ago our church lost 7 people in three months, and it was really hard on the congregation. I hope we aren't going that direction again. We lost a long-time member two weeks ago this Tuesday, and two more members today. Even though those who passed were not well, it's hard to lose church family members.
I guess it is interesting timing too, as we approach Ash Wednesday, when we formally repent for our sins. I have to admit I have always hated getting the ashes on my forehead; it's a vanity thing, really. But it has to be done. And having these recent deaths as a reminder of the condition of human frailty, it's probably good to do this.
On an "up" note, we had a good turnout again for the Dead Sea Scrolls Bible study. I don't know if I'm teaching anything other than vocabulary words, but I guess that's something. I just wish there was an existent one to compare to! There are too many documents to be able to copy things for the class, and I am probably hitting and missing a lot of the time. I keep waiting for feedback, but none yet.